I watched a documentary series recently on one of the online platforms.
It was about the stories of people who are on death row in the USA waiting to be executed.
Needless to say this is not a scenario that I usually think about so I was deeply touched by strong feelings that started to move inside me and made me think from a different angle.
It made me ask a lot of questions as well and sparked some ideas I think worth sharing.
One of the first thing that hit me was that all of these people condemned to death had a horrible childhood and suffered severe abuse. None of them had the story of oh I had such a nice childhood and was nurtured and loved, all my needs were met.
These men were once little boys, most of them physically, sexually abused, threatened, beaten and shut down, tortured.
In some episodes the relatives have been interviewed as well and a few of them said that they truly believe this person (the murderer) was never experienced real love or care or kindness.
Can you imagine what kind of emotional environment it is for a child to grow up like this? To live in constant fear and anger? To never be hugged or played with. To not have any safety or security.
And guess what, their parents had a horrible childhood too and they suffered also greatly.
So it goes a chain of pain, perpetuated suffering.
This doesn't justify the horrible acts that they committed, but does it define of who they really are? Do they deserve to be executed, put down like an animal?
One of the inmates said that his greatest wish if for people to him as a person beyond the one who committed a crime.
Can you imagine having the worst moment of your life frozen and remembered forever as a most defining moment of your life and as a statement about you as a person, a human being.
One of the inmates shared that after almost 20 years spent in solitary confinement he intentionally committed another crime hoping for a death penalty this time because he can't stay sane and keep on living this way anymore.
How is this serves us as a society to confine these people in a solitary cell, slowly driving them insane, depriving them from their basic human life and inflicting more suffering on top of what they already have to deal with?
This is the best we can do to solve the problem of crime?
I am a healer. I can't help but to look from this perspective. And I don't see many possibility of healing here. It is my experience that to stop this chain of pain is to help and individual to heal the wound and repair the disconnection that caused the pain. The only way to do this is with love.
Everybody deserves to be loved. Period.
My question is how can we be more loving and bring more healing to this world?
It is clear that we are in desperate need of healing and reconnection. Are we doing the best we can?