Love Letters to Self pt 5
Who is the wounded child?
When we are children, we don't have the experience, tools, power and awareness to process stressful and traumatic events simply because we are just young children. However the child is very instinctual. And it is our primary instinct to avoid pain and go towards pleasure. Therefore the child separates itself from the pain when a trauma occurs through suppression and detachment detachment that leads to the fragmentation of self. The part of self that contains the pain, trauma will be stuck on that age level when the wounding occurred and recede to the unconscious. The other part of the self will grow up and mature to a certain extent.
From the child's perspective trauma can be a simple thing like leaving a child at home alone for a time, without of the safety and comfort of the parents. The more trauma occurs, the more fragmented the self becomes in order to survive and protect itself from the pain that continues to occur. When I talk about trauma it is the disconnection from Love what I mean on a root level.
How to recognize the wounded child?
Even though most of the trauma and separation occurs in childhood, the results are felt and experienced throughout the whole lifetime until this aspect is healed and integrated. You can recognize the wounded child when you are triggered and behave in a childish way or witness an adult behave like a child when they are stressed or triggered. Here are some characteristics of the wounded child to reflect on and observe in yourself.
- neediness, desperation, demanding
- throwing a tantrum, rage, explosion of anger
- impulsive, instinctual, lack of awareness, unconscious
- feeling unsafe, loneliness
- depression, isolation, self harm
Why does the wounding occur in the first place?
The reason why most children suffer some form of trauma is that most parents also suffered as children and therefore they didn't mature fully, they stayed on some level wounded, fragmented. This means they cannot embody a mature, integrated masculine/father or feminine/mother energy to teach or show an as example to their children.
The higher, divine expression of the feminine is nurturing, loving, compassionate, intuitive, receptive, open and rooted in trust. The distorted, wounded feminine is passive aggressive, manipulative, disconnected from reason and logic, stuck in projection and blame and rooted in revenge and anger.
The higher, divine expression of the masculine is the the archetype of a benevolent, wise leader, protector of the people, the peacekeeper who is strong, assertive, aligned, flexible and rooted in love and truth. The distorted, wounded masculine is the predator, violator, tyrant who wants to control with force and aggression. It is close minded, selfish and judgemental disconnected from the emotional, intuitive nature, rooted in fear and ignorance.
Think of your parents, what kind of examples they are/were? Think of your own life?
Where do you recognize yourself?
You are the healer, love is the medicine
On a human level most of us are wounded. This wound is passed down through the ancestral lines, through the generations, this is what I call the chain of pain.
Even though the wound might not be your fault but healing is your responsibility.
The good news is that you have the power to break this chain any time you decide. But only you can heal the separation within you, only you can heal your wounded child. You can lovingly embrace the wounded aspect of yourself. You can acknowledge, see the hurt and the pain, cleanse it in the light of your awareness and let go of the past pain with love and forgiveness. Just imagine turning towards yourself like a loving mother would to a hurt child to comfort and lovingly connect. This self love is the key, embracing all aspects of yourself with love and awareness.
“I see you, I hear you, I am here for you, I love you, I love myself, in Love we are One.”
Freedom - breaking the chain of pain
When you heal yourself and integrate your wounded child aspect you free yourself from the bondage of past pain and more, you free your lineage from perpetuating the same wound. Only then can you relate from a mature, conscious, adult perspective in any relationship, without reacting from the child and past wounding.
As in the Universe everything moves towards balance and integration, if you decide to do this inner healing, you can be assured all the support and guidance coming to your life so you can heal, expand and rise to your higher expression.
Remember You are the Healer and Love is the Medicine.